So, lately I've been feeling unbelievably down, alone even when I'm in a room full of people and to be quite honest, suicidal. It happens. I'm used to feeling this way to an extent - it still doesn't get any less hard to know you're feeling this way and it still always makes me disappointed in myself to know I feel that I'd be better off not here anymore but still, I'm sort of used to little periods of time coming where that is simply just the way I feel.
I figured I'd do a little paragraph on how I try to help myself when I feel suicidal, you never know, it just might help somebody in need. Remember if you feel alone or want some help or just to talk to someone, there is always the Samaritans (who have helped me on a number of occasions and it's so useful to talk to someone out-with your whole situation) or if you don't feel comfortable with that, email me at rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com or speak to someone you love dearly.
I think it's important to remind yourself that you're not alone, there are so many people that feel this way too - so it in no way makes you 'weird' or a 'freak' to be thinking like this. Treat yourself with some kindness whilst you feel like this too, it's not going to make anything any better or pull yourself out of it quicker if you're being really damn hard on yourself. Feeling like this is hard enough. Listen to songs that make you happy, songs that make you think of your happiest memories - songs that will always make you smile. Listen to them all day, every day if you have to. Write down exactly how you feel and then rip it up. Rip it into tiny shreds and it'll let some aggression out. Cry. Cry until you can't physically cry anymore. Go somewhere that makes you feel peaceful - for me that is a very long bath. See a family member that you love, either that you can talk to with no judgement about anything or someone that always makes you laugh. It could also be a friend. Watch a movie. Try to connect with anything that makes you smile or happy or hopeful. Try to sleep. Sometimes I've found myself being really suicidal and having a decent sleep (especially if I've not slept very well/not slept at all before hand) it can take a huge dent out of feeling that way.
I just want to say - in no way am I saying that these things shift feeling suicidal - they don't for me sometimes, sometimes I have to just ride it out and hope I'm going to come out of the other side of it feeling lifted and somewhat 'normal' again. But sometimes they do take the edge off of feeling that way and if I can help anyone do that... Then I've done a good job. I've been feeling like this on and off for a month now and I just felt like rather than talk about how I've been feeling - talk about what has been helping me - even if it's just a little bit to try help someone else if possible.
Remember if your symptoms persist, please get in touch with the Samaritans, go onto the Mind website to have a look and see what you can do for yourself. Or if you feel scared that you may attempt suicide - please, I urge you to get in contact with your GP. Get the help you need and deserve. It's not a shameful thing to admit you need help. I promise.
Look after yourself, thanks for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment