Five Year Plan.

Hey again.

A little bit more of a light hearted post today than last week's one, but like I've said from the beginning of this blog - some of the posts might just be a little bit dark. Like a diary somewhat.

Anyway, today I thought I'd do a post on my five year plan. I'm sure you've all heard of one. I'm gonna list at least 5 goals that I want to have achieved in five years, by the time I turn 25 (oh my holy god that is scary to even think about). You should let me know a couple of yours in the comments! :)

1. Career.

I'd like to either be trained in Makeup Artistry and if I decide not to go to college then at least established myself as a Freelance Artist and getting my name out there, maybe working for a company that I enjoy.

2. My blog/youtube.

I'd quite like to be continuing my blog from here on out, pretty much, I reckon it'll change as I get older. If you haven't read my blog yet then check it out here. I would like it to be quite successful and stay something that I really enjoy doing, maybe have worked with a few companies. I'd also like my youtube channel to have grown quite a bit, I like the idea of doing youtube on the side with a video on the likes of once a week or something, I think that'd be quite cool.

3.  Have my own house/flat. Bonus points if it has my own makeup room.

I'd love a house by the time I'm 25, ideally, but I realise that may not be the case so a flat will do. I'd love my own place and to have somewhere I can call my own and be able to pay for it on my own, that would be amazing. 

4. Have a puppy of my own!

I love animals, cats and dogs to be precise and I've always wanted my own puppy - I say this because I'm actually allergic to cats and I don't always take a reaction but I also hate it when I do, so I'd probably prefer a puppy. Bonus points if its an English Bulldog. Heart eyes af.

5. Be body confident.

I don't really remember ever looking at myself, my body in the mirror and liking what I see, so in 5 years time I'd like to be able to say that I can comfortably wear whatever I want regardless of who's around and that I like what I see in the mirror, it's what my poor little body deserves after all, haha!

Well, there's 5 of my goals for the next 5 years. I think these are pretty achievable - I'm 19 right now and I want to have achieved these by my 25th birthday. I think that's alright, don't you? Haha, maybe I'll come back in 5 years and see how I've got on! ;)

Remember it's good to set yourself goals sometimes. Reminds you to aim for the stars and get yourself to stay productive. You'll get there in the end!

Thank you for reading, you should tell me your 5 year goals in the comments!

Other places to find me:

My facebook page -https://www.facebook.com/rgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

Lots of love, 

Rachel 

x x x 

Feelin' Like a Failure.

Do you ever get those days where you just feel really really shitty?
You just think about your whole life and it's not really panning out how you'd like it to?

That's how I feel today. I just feel like I should be much further on in life than I am. I feel like I'm not doing anyone proud, it's difficult to be like this because my down days compared to someone without depression are really horrifically hard. 

I'm 19. Typically, I should be half way through uni/college, with a part time job and maybe a little car, or getting lessons to drive and going out on weekends with friends and having money to spend on myself/the people I care about. My reality is that I am no where near where I want to be in college/uni life, I done a course for a couple of months that I absolutely hated so I left rather than sticking it out and I'm right back to square 1. I don't have a part time job. This and my beauty blog are my only things that I officially 'do'. I am not a qualified makeup artist. I very rarely get jobs with it and I struggle to put myself out there because I simply do not feel good enough yet. I am struggling for money, struggling to get to go anywhere nevermind out on weekends. I am trying my hardest to get a job, get something done with my life, DO something. But nothing seems to be working out for me.

I am barely living.

And I feel like such a failure for it.

Anyway, I'm not sure how long I'll keep this post up for. Some days I just feel like this. Some days I don't. But I just want you, whoever's reading to know that if you feel like this - you're not alone. I feel this way sometimes - well, a lot of the time - too and you are never, ever alone. I promise you won't feel like this forever, too. You'll be okay.

We will all be able to look back one day and say '"we've made it."

But for now, lets just let ourselves have a little whinge.

Thanks for reading this ridiculously negative post. Next one should hopefully be more of a self help one. If you have any ideas of what I should do next, please don't hesitate to write in the comments or on any of these other platforms: 

Other places to find me:

My facebook page -https://www.facebook.com/rgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

 x x x x

How I Calm Myself During a Panic Attack.

Hey there,

If you, like me, suffer from frequent panic attacks I've jotted down 10 things that I do that help me overcome/calm down from a panic attack. 

I am not a professional. I'm not claiming that these things will help you, I'm just claiming that these things help me. It's always worth a try. There's nothing worse than having panic attacks and having no clue how to deal with them so I suggest trying everything you can to try and help yourself. I promise it's worth it. If none of these work talk to your GP about other methods of help for this and you will find something that works for you.

If you're still struggling to find something and one of these help you, great! I'm so glad! If they don't, simply just remind yourself that you will be okay until you find something that helps. It may feel like they last forever but I promise they don't. And remember to be proud of yourself, you are doing so well!

1. Get in contact with a family member or a friend that you trust and that understands panic attacks/what they are like. 

This one is pretty self explanatory but sometimes I feel like just talking to someone that understands is so worthwhile. Talking to someone that you love and care for will slow your racing heart down and you will start to forget that you were ever panicking, it's worth a try because I'm sure you have plenty of people who's willing to take a 10-15 minute phone call from you if it helps. 

2. Listen to your favourite band or your favourite song.

Try to put music on that makes you happy - whether it's your favourite song, your favourite album, whatever. Try to sing along in your head, doing this will keep your mind from racing about all the things you're panicking about and is generally a good one to use if you're out and about since most of us are guaranteed to have a phone with music on it and earphones! I tend to use this one if I'm going somewhere I'm anxious about and do it on the journey there.

3. Remove yourself from the situation.

Say you're in the middle of a club, it's really warm, you're surrounded by lots of people, maybe drunk people make you nervous and anxious - simply just go into the fresh air and remove yourself from the situation for a while until you feel better. This one is sometimes not possible depending on where you are and what you're doing but it's always worth a try too.

4. Count to ten, remember to breathe.

This one sounds a bit stupid but I swear it works. If you only let yourself focus on taking 10 very slow, deep breaths your brain focuses on that and the more air you're letting into your lungs and breathing out it will calm you. It's one of my go-to's for panic attacks and just anything that makes me nervous in general tbh.

5. Try to break the panic attack down.

This one could be considered a wee bit risky but if you do it right this tends to work. Try to break down the root of why you're panicking. Like, for me, say I'm worrying about a blog post not being ready or the way I'd like it to be, I'd make sure I set myself at least half an hour to perfect it so I don't go panicking about it later, you know? It's the same with anything, if you try and break down the root of the panic attack then you will see there's generally always a solution. It will be okay!

6. Counting backwards from 100.

Again a little bit of a self explanatory one, but focusing on something other than your panic attack is key. Basically, don't let the panic attack win. You don't necessarily have to count backwards from 100 - you could count to 100 or you could do a little crossword if you have an app on your phone. Anything like that to take your mind from the panic attack and onto something else.

7. Think about one of your favourite or happiest memories.

This is one I use quite a bit. I'll think about something from when I was younger or just something that makes me really happy and try to imagine myself there in that moment and my panic attack tends to just drift away.

8. Write down your feelings.

Again this one is about focusing on something else, this one is a hit or miss depending on how severe the panic attack is so I tend to only do this if I just feel anxious - not so much if I'm having an actual panic attack. I just write down what I'm feeling and why I think I'm feeling that way and it tends to help, even if only a little.

9. Anxiety App on your phone.

There are loads of apps on the market now that are centred around anxiety and helping you with your panic attack. I suggest finding one that you really enjoy and using it whenever you're needing calmed down.

10. If all else fails, medication.

This one is a hit or miss with people because a lot of people don't like taking medication. But if your panic attacks are incredibly frequent and severe, medication might be a good route to go to try and solve that. Maybe therapy as well to figure out what your triggers are and why you're suffering so bad.

Thank you for reading, I hope this helped some of you.

Other places to find me:

My facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/rachelgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

x x x 

Mother's Day Blues.

Hello!

To all the mummies reading this, you are doing an absolutely amazing job and you deserve to have the most amazing, relaxing day and be spoiled by your babies!

Today, in the UK, we celebrate Mother's Day. Part of me loves it, part of me loves that you can see everyone showing their appreciation for their mum. But part of me hates it because why only one day? Why do people only show their appreciation for their mum on one day?
You should be doing it every single day.

I hate that I can't spoil my mum on this day, I also hate that I don't have my mum at all on any day. I can't tell her I love her and hear her say it back, I can't get a cuddle whenever I want, I can't just talk to her about everyday things. I feel like so many people completely take advantage of the fact that they have their mum and don't take the time to appreciate your parents every single day.

It only takes a second for everything to change and for someone you love to not be here anymore so I just want people to remember that. And if you're like me, struggling on a day to day basis but also struggling on days like today, having lost your mum. Know you're not alone.
Combat how you're feeling by writing her letters, I know it sounds silly but the way I believe in it is that she can totally see you, she can see what you're writing and it lets you get out your feelings.

Know that your mum loves you and appreciates you every single day so you should do the same for her. Without her, you wouldn't have your life, would you?

So, to my muma:

I love you so much. I miss you with everything I have, I wish I could have one cuddle and for you to say, "nevermind, mummy's here" as you always did when we were younger and upset. I hate that I can't talk to you but this will have to do, I hope you are having the most amazing time where you are and thank you for being wonderful to me. Happy Mother's Day.

My mum taught me how to be a strong, independent lady. She taught me how to love, how to be a friend, how to make sure you win in an argument (haha), how to be an all round wonderful person, how to cook, how to show you're the boss, how to be respectful but most importantly, she taught me not to be afraid of what people think of me - and whilst that's definitely difficult sometimes, it's important nonetheless and I am definitely not afraid to be who I am, I'm just me, unapologetically me. I love her and I love everything she was and everything she taught me to be.

I hope you all enjoy your own Mother's Day though with your families or if you're a Mummy yourself, I hope you are having the absolute best day!

Thank you for reading,

Other places to find me:

My facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/rachelgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

x x x x x 

25 Get to Know Me Questions - TAG.

Hey again,

I thought I'd start off my posts pretty light so I seen this tag on a fellow blogger's site - I'll link it here. It's just 25 questions that I'll answer and it'll let you get to know me just in general a little, you know?

Here we go...

1. What is your middle name? Catherine :) It's after my gran - my mum's mum.
2. What was your favourite subject at school? Biology. I really loved learning the science behind everything and I especially loved the human part of it - not so much the plant side - I just find how the body works pretty fascinating.
3. What is your favourite drink? Ohhh, it's probably really bad but Monster - the energy drink, haha! Other than that I'm a sucker for Fanta Fruit Twist and alcohol wise it's got to be Corona.
4. What is your favourite song at the moment? Uhm, probably 11 AM by Incubus. You should give it a listen, I'll link it here.
5. What is your favourite food? Italian and Mexican I think.. I love spicy food but pasta and pizza are both my total vices, you know? :P
6. What is the last thing you bought? A can of Monster and stuff for last nights dinner (which was the yummiest)
7. Favourite book of all time? Either 'Shock of the Fall' by Nathan Filer, 'Six Years' by Harlan Coben or 'Scar Tissue' by Anthony Kiedis from RHCP
8. Favourite colour? Teal :)
9. Do you have any pets? I don't :( how sad is that. I'm dying for a bulldog though.
10. Favourite perfume? My fave perfume is a little one by Tom Ford, it's Black Orchid. I have a review of it on my beauty blog here. :)
11. Favourite holiday? Probably when I went to Spain with my boyfriend last year. I'll post some photos at the end.
12. Are you married? Nope. I'm not sure it's something I really "believe" in I guess you could say.
13. Have you ever been out of the country? If so, how many times? I have. I've been out of the country 11 times, I've visited England a few times, been to Portugal, Spain, Tenerife and Italy :) 
14. Do you speak any other language? I only fluently speak English. I remember basic french and I'm trying to teach myself it again and eventually learn Italian and Spanish too. Generally though I can pick up on little things that a French or Italian person is saying when they speak.
15. How many siblings do you have? I have two older brothers, an older sister and when my dad married, he married into a family with two girls and a boy so I have three other step-siblings. I'll post some photos at the end.
16. What is your favourite shop? Hmm, for clothes probably New Look, Urban Outfitters or Boohoo.com and for makeup Beauty Bay.
17. Favourite restaurant? I have two, Jacker de Viande which is on West Regent Street in Glasgow and Guidis which is on the outskirts of Glasgow in a place called Coatbridge. I'll post some photos at the end.
18. When is the last time you cried? Yesterday. Was having an anxious day and just didn't feel good so I had a wee cry to myself, haha.
19. Favourite blog? Uhm, prob Rosanna Pierce's, I'll link it here. She also has a fab youtube channel that you should check out, it'll be on her blog somewhere :)
20. Favourite movie? Oh man, I have too many. For now I'll say A Nightmare on Elm Street (the 80's versions though, don't judge me but the 2010 one is shit)
21. Favourite TV show? Sex and the City
22. PC or MAC? MAC for sure
23. What phone do you have? I have an iPhone 5, hopefully get an upgrade soon.
24. How tall are you? I'm not 100% sure but I know I'm around 5'1 -5'3. 
25. Can you cook? I guess so? I can cook if I'm following something in particular or I'm being taught how to do it. Not sure that I can do it well, but you know :p

Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you got to know me a little better :) 

Other places to find me:

My facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/rachelgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

x x x x

Awkward Introductions.

Hello there,

If you have come from my beauty blog then hello, welcome! Welcome to my dark side! No, I'm totally kidding. I don't really know how to start this blog off since I'm so unbelievably bloody awkward so I'll just write and see where it takes me.

For those who didn't come from my beauty blog - hi! I'm Rachel, I'm nineteen and from Glasgow, but you've probably read that from the sidebar already... I wanted to start this blog because I suffer from depression, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and I think there may be a little bit of OCD flung in there somewhere but I'm not certain over that yet and I'm certainly not going to self-diagnose. I have also suffered (??? don't know if that's the right sort of word to use for it) two deaths in my family that have severely affected me - my mum and my eldest brother. Anyway, I started this blog as a way to help myself - have a somewhat virtual diary (if I do do posts in a diary-like format then peoples names other than mine will be changed) and to help others who may relate to me in any way.

So, here goes! I don't know how often I'll write on here and I'm not going to make any promises so I'll just say once a week for now - it could be more or less but it just depends on how I personally feel and what I feel like I'd like to talk about.

I want to just say that if anyone at all needs anyone to reach out to - please don't hesitate to contact me via any of these links as I'm more than happy to talk to anyone who's struggling with anything. I know what it's like to feel alone. We're in this together.

Other places to find me:

My facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/rachelgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

My other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

Thank you for reading so far!

x x x x x