Feelin' Like a Failure.

Do you ever get those days where you just feel really really shitty?
You just think about your whole life and it's not really panning out how you'd like it to?

That's how I feel today. I just feel like I should be much further on in life than I am. I feel like I'm not doing anyone proud, it's difficult to be like this because my down days compared to someone without depression are really horrifically hard. 

I'm 19. Typically, I should be half way through uni/college, with a part time job and maybe a little car, or getting lessons to drive and going out on weekends with friends and having money to spend on myself/the people I care about. My reality is that I am no where near where I want to be in college/uni life, I done a course for a couple of months that I absolutely hated so I left rather than sticking it out and I'm right back to square 1. I don't have a part time job. This and my beauty blog are my only things that I officially 'do'. I am not a qualified makeup artist. I very rarely get jobs with it and I struggle to put myself out there because I simply do not feel good enough yet. I am struggling for money, struggling to get to go anywhere nevermind out on weekends. I am trying my hardest to get a job, get something done with my life, DO something. But nothing seems to be working out for me.

I am barely living.

And I feel like such a failure for it.

Anyway, I'm not sure how long I'll keep this post up for. Some days I just feel like this. Some days I don't. But I just want you, whoever's reading to know that if you feel like this - you're not alone. I feel this way sometimes - well, a lot of the time - too and you are never, ever alone. I promise you won't feel like this forever, too. You'll be okay.

We will all be able to look back one day and say '"we've made it."

But for now, lets just let ourselves have a little whinge.

Thanks for reading this ridiculously negative post. Next one should hopefully be more of a self help one. If you have any ideas of what I should do next, please don't hesitate to write in the comments or on any of these other platforms: 

Other places to find me:

My facebook page -https://www.facebook.com/rgarmentmua

Instagram - tod4ylovesmiledonme

twitter - rachelgarment

email/business - rachelgarmentmua@outlook.com

my other blog - tod4ylovesmiledonme.blogspot.co.uk

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